Paramour
by Casper the Ghost
Summary: Just warning you .. Seiya x Haruka story..kinda... stop looking at me like that...
1. Paramour

*Blink Blink*  
I slowly open my eyes, there is someone standing there, who is  
she, she seems important. I try to move, but my body doesn't  
respond. Why can't I move, what happened, where am I? I hesitantly  
look around and there are machines everywhere. I look up and there  
is a pristine white ceiling, I can't see anything else. I feel a  
chill go through me and once again I try to move, but to no avail.  
I look up and a lady says something and she touches my forehead,  
I cringe. Who are you, I try to say but there is something over my  
mouth, I can't speak. I try to get away from her; she looks hurt.  
She's saying something, I can see her lops moving, but I can't hear  
anything. Someone in a white jacket comes up and looks at the  
machines then stands over me, his lips are moving, I hear a blur  
of sound that I can't make out. What is this place? I want to  
leave, Why am I here? The mad in the jacket has something sharp in  
his hand, a flash of fear goes through me as he holds my arm, I  
feel faint, he examines it for a moment and then I feel a stinging  
pain and everything goes black.  
  
**********  
  
She looks so delicate, so fragile. I don't know what I'm doing  
here. I look around, all the senshi are here, I see Odango, she's  
trying not to cry, she's curled up in HIS arms. I look around and  
see that all the senshi have tears in their eyes, over her? I see  
Michiru-san standing over her prone body, I walk up to her and put  
my hand on her shoulder, I should try to comfort her right? I tell  
her that she should go and get some rest, we will wake her up if  
anything changes. She slowly nods and I lead her to the other bed  
in the hospital room. I walk back and look at the figure in the  
bed, she looks so peaceful, her eyes are closed and I can hear her  
breathe. I wonder what happened, no one has told me and I'm afraid  
to ask. What could have done this to her? Her head moves a little  
and her eyes flitter open to look at me.  
  
**********  
  
My eyes open and this time I don't feel frightened I look up and  
there is a beautiful stranger standing they're looking at me. He  
looks at me for a moment then says something, it's completely  
incoherent to me. What's wrong with me? I close my eyes for a  
second and a strange darkness envelop me. Through the darkness I  
can hear a voice. " Stay away from her," It tells me. A figure  
appears in front of me. It's a beautiful woman with aqua hair. I  
know I've seen her before somewhere. "She hurt you." The  
mysterious voice tells me. " she will do it again if you aren't  
careful. she will lie to you, to your friends, she will pretend  
she is family. She will pretend to care about you, it's a game to  
her, she used you, she hurt you, she tried to change you. Once she  
tricked you, she destroyed the life you made for yourself, exiled  
you from your friends. She condemned you to loneliness, you must  
not let her do it again." The figure and the voice disappeared.  
  
I opened my eyes again and I took a deep breath, my eyes burned,  
my whole body burned. I gasped for breath. Something was over my  
mouth and it supplied me with cool fresh air. I tried to move my  
stiff body, I flexed my fingers, and a sharp pain soared up my  
arm. I felt a pounding in my head. The pain blinded my senses. It  
was agonizing. I opened my eyes again and moved my head slightly  
to the side. That's when I saw her. I felt a cold fear encompass  
my body. A voice echoed in my head: " She hurt you, she will do it  
again..." I see her smile at me, she places a tentative hand on my  
forehead, I pull back, I want her to go away, and I feel a sense  
of dread. She smiles down at me again. I glare at her and pull  
away. My body screams at me in pain, but I don't want her to look  
at me, or to touch me. She looks concerned, I pull my aching body  
farther away, she looks hurt. " she will pretend she cares about  
you.." a voice echoed in my head. I have to hurt her, to protect  
myself, it's better this way.  
  
**********  
  
What is Haruka doing? I watch as she glares up at her lover, what  
is wrong with her? HE goes over to comfort Michiru as she nearly  
breaks down in tears. I seethe, he shouldn't comfort her, his life  
is just perfect, and he doesn't know pain. I glare at his back. I  
look at Haruka, she seems genuinely frightened. Of what? She seems  
so... vulnerable, I turn away. She isn't supposed to be like this,  
she's supposed to be pissing me off, not making me feel sorry for  
her. A doctor walks up to her and starts talking, she looks  
confused. What's going on?  
  
**********  
  
" Ten'ou-san?"  
Another person, with a white coat walks up to my bed. He seems to  
be talking to me. Am I supposed to know what that means? The man  
seems important, he says something I can't quite make out. " How  
are you feeling?" I cough trying to say something. He removes the  
plastic cup around my mouth. I cough again. " I...don't know." I  
hear myself say, my voice sounds strange. He asks me some  
questions, What my name is, where I am, How old I am; I can't  
answer any of them. He asks me if I know what happened, I don't,  
he says I've been in and out of consciousness for twelve days, my  
eyes widen, I've been out of it for twelve days?  
  
***** A week later *****  
  
I walk into the coffee shop down the street from my apartment.  
Usagi and Mamoru are walking out. " Hey Seiya." She smiles at me,  
I reply smiling. How can she just stand there with HIM. I glare at  
him as I walk by. I sit in an empty booth and order something, I  
don't even know what it is. I stare out the window, I feel empty.  
We came back to earth for a break from 'royal life' what a great  
vacation this has turned out to be. No one knows who we are, all  
the senshi are depressed and Odango is with HIM, this is great. I  
like it here more then Kinmokusei though, there we're thrust into  
stupid politics. The princess doesn't understand me at all, she  
thinks that if I marry everything will be fine. She's sending  
every prince she meets my way, me with man? She thinks that will  
make ME happy, she doesn't know me at all. I've been a guy, after  
that I would never want to be *with* a guy. So now what do I do, I  
pretend to be happy. My life is a complete hoax. Taiki and Yaten  
think I'm happy here on earth surrounded by a bunch of depressed  
sailor senshi crying over Haruka. They're crazy, all of them.  
They told me she had a nervous breakdown while driving her race  
car, she's the craziest of them all. Why would she do that to  
herself? She has everything, she has a love that won't abandon  
her, she has a family, she has a career, how can she not be happy?  
I saw her two hours before her 'accident' she was with Michiru,  
she was smiling that arrogant smile, teasing Minako-chan, and then  
she's in the hospital unconscious. If anyone should drive  
herself into a wall it should be me. I live in hell. Where the  
hell is my coffee?  
  
I look out the window and I see Michiru walking by, she sees me  
and then walks into the coffee shop. She sits down in front of me.  
" Michiru-san, Can I...help you?" I ask her hesitantly. " Well, I  
have some of Haruka's things that she probably wants and some  
lunch for her, but the doctor has asked me not to visit her  
because she seems uncomfortable around me. I can't reach the  
others and I was wondering if you could just deliver them for me?  
I know you aren't the best of friends, but Haruka is probably  
bored out of her mind by now, I just thought that maybe..." How  
can I say no to her, she seems so sad. I have nothing better to  
do anyway. " Sure Michiru-san, no problem." She smiles at me  
softly. Maybe I can go and knock some sense into Haruka-San. My  
coffee hasn't arrived yet so I just get up and leave with her.  
  
***** At the Hospital *****  
  
" Hi Haruka-San" I say as I stroll into her room. She smiles at  
me, what am I supposed to do, this is Ten'ou Haruka my arch rival  
she's acting so...weird. " I brought you some food, and some  
magazines and stuff..."  
" Thanks." She smiles again.. would she stop doing that. I give  
her the bag and then turn to leave. " You're leaving already?"  
She pouts, I arch my eyebrow, what the hell is she doing.  
" Why don't you stay with me for a while?" She looks up  
at me and she looks... dare I say it... cute.  
" I can stay for a little while." Why can't I just say no.  
" So how do you feel?" I ask casually sitting own in the  
chair beside her bed.  
" Fine... um... did I know you before, well obviously but, um  
... what's your name?" She blushes, *Haruka* blushes, she  
must've hit her head really hard. She's acting so flustered  
" I'm Seiya." I say, she smiles again.  
" I'm Haruka, but I guess you already knew that." She blushes  
again.  
" Here's your lunch." I unpack it for her... this is what  
Michiru-san got for her...a salad... oh dear god. " I  
think I grabbed the wrong bag, but um here, I could  
probably get you something else." I handed it to her  
" No, it's ok." She smiles hesitantly, and then  
munches away at the salad. I came all this way to give  
her a salad? I think even hospital food is better than  
that. " So what else did you bring me." She asks  
between bites.  
" Let me see, a racing magazine, a music magazine,  
cosmopolitan... I don't think that's suppose don't be in  
here. That's about it." Haruka groans.  
" More of them, everyone brings me dumb magazines,  
especially that green haired chick." She looks away  
nervously.  
" You mean Michiru-san?" She nods hesitantly, her mood  
has definitely changed since a few minutes ago. " She  
gave them to me, she couldn't stop by, she seemed ...  
busy." I knew I was lying but what could I do,  
Haruka-San would probably be upset that her lover wasn't  
allowed to visit her and that's just what I need, HER  
pissed off.  
" Good, I'm glad that she's not here, I wish she'd stop  
coming to see me." Haruka looked agitated, and her eyes  
darted around the room.  
" Why don't you want her to see you?"  
" I have a feeling she's the reason I'm here. I just don't  
like her being around me." She definitely has gone insane.  
" How would she cause this when you drove *yourself* into  
a cement wall." I was starting to get a little, pissed off,  
I mean she did this to herself and she's blaming her  
lover, at least she has someone, they're perfect for  
each other, I can imagine Michiru-san going crazy because  
of Haruka-San, but the other way around? Haruka-San  
should be praising god to have someone with her attitude.  
" I drove myself into a wall, that's more than anyone else  
has told me." Haruka rolls her eyes, " Well that's just  
great, maybe I did it because of her or something."  
" Why would you do that she's your lover."  
" She ... is?" Haruka-San seemed absolutely shocked.  
" You didn't know that?" I asked cautiously.  
" No, I didn't, they don't tell me much, well seeing as I  
almost killed myself I can imagine why." I watched her,  
she seemed extremely perturbed and kept looking towards  
the window. " Why do you think I did it?"  
" I have no idea why." I said thinking of some way to  
leave. " I wouldn't know"  
" We weren't friends?" She asked, her big green eyes  
looking at me, I looked away, Why is she doing this to  
me? She probably doesn't have amnesia, she's just trying  
to embarrass me.  
" No were definitely not." I turned away.  
" Oh" she said quietly, she seemed crestfallen." Why not?"  
" Umm... we had a .... slight difference of opinion."  
" About what." she asked  
" About someone, it's complicated..."  
" If it's about that green haired chick you can have her."  
" Someone else, and not like that."  
" Oh, well I'm not going anywhere why don't you tell me."  
" How about no."  
" Why are you being so mean to me."  
" I'm not being mean!"  
" Yes you are, you're being an asshole."  
" Hey, at least I didn't go crazy and drive into a wall."  
" At least I'm not a jerk."  
" Yes you are!."  
" And you obviously know me so well."  
" I know you're a cross-dressing suicidal lesbian with  
violent tendencies."  
" I've been sitting here for the past little while and  
I have NO idea if you're a guy or girl."  
" It's not that hard to tell."  
" You act like a girl, but there's nothing on your chest,  
trust me I've looked"  
" Are you calling me flat, I've definitely got more than  
you do."  
" I wouldn't be to sure of that honey *wink*"  
" You know what you're a pervert."  
" You're cute when your riled up Seiya-chan. *wink*" I felt  
my face go hot. " Real cute." she licked her lips.  
" Pervert!"  
" *wink* don't pretend you don't like it."  
" AHH I'm, leaving."  
" No wait stay with me." She pouted and batted her eyes.  
" No I'm leaving!"  
" Please.." More cute faces.  
" I can stay a little longer" She smiled  
" See we can be friends."  
" You're crazy" She laughed, I couldn't help but smile. I  
heard the door open, Michiru-san walked in. Haruka-San  
stopped laughing immediately.  
" I accidentally left my magazine with you, Seiya-kun."  
Michiru said smiling, " Hi Haruka." She looked away,  
while Michiru sat down. So this is why she wanted me to  
deliver those things to Haruka. " I see you got the  
salad I made for you." Haruka pushed it away from her not  
so inconspicuously. " How do you feel today?"  
" Fine." Haruka said shortly, her voice was cold.  
" The doctor said that you would be ready to come  
home in a couple days. So I'll bring some clothes for you  
to wear home. The press may be there so you have to  
make sure you look normal. Just in case a reporter gets  
brave and comes up here I think you should wear something  
a little more concealing of your figure. I got some clothes  
for you they're in my car." Haruka-San didn't seem to be  
paying much attention to her but still responded.  
" Why would I have to do that?"  
" I already told you, everyone thinks you're a boy. You've  
got company, this is a private matter we can discuss later  
when there isn't anyone else here, you're being terribly  
rude."  
" You brought it up." Haruka glared up at Michiru. What  
the hell was going on? Why was Michiru bringing this up  
now?  
" I'm sorry, I'll leave you two alone." I said getting up  
to leave.  
" No," Haruka said, " You leave." She glared at Michiru-san.  
" Haruka!" Michiru said sternly  
" I asked you to leave, I was having a conversation before  
you came in and I want you to leave."  
" Haruka don't get..."  
" Now!" Haruka said glaring. Michiru got up and smiled.  
" I'll see you tomorrow morning, maybe you'll feel more  
rational then, I'll leave your clothes with you tomorrow,  
Bye Seiya-kun, Bye Haruka." Michiru left.  
**********  
  
The doctor walked in with Michiru behind him. 'Don't let me  
go with her please.' I thought desperately, I tried to open  
my mouth to say something to the doctor but nothing came   
out. My body just stopped responding the second she walked  
into the room.  
" Michiru-san is here to take you home, she'll take care of  
you there." The doctor smiled at me, I felt sick.  
" Here Haruka, I have your clothes. There is some press  
outside so we have to make sure you look like a guy." Is this  
all she cares about? It's all she ever talks about, What if   
someone finds out I'm really a girl, what's wrong with that?  
I opened my mouth to say something back to her, but I couldn't  
instead I went and took the clothing out of her arm and went  
to change. When I finished I looked in the mirror, I definitely  
don't look like a guy in this I fill it out a little too much.   
I stepped out of the bathroom and Michiru shook her head and  
then threw me a rolled up piece of cloth. Oh god she can't be   
serious can she? I felt sick to my stomach, I went back and  
changed again, when I came out Michiru smiled in approval,  
God I hate her. Michiru went out the door and I followed.   
I just wanted to go and crawl up in my nice warm bed and hide.  
I followed her, although my head was screaming at me, my body   
was moving automatically, I had no control over it. Michiru  
pushed me out the front door and a barrage of lights attacked  
me, I heard my name being called out along with a vast array  
of questions, Michiru pushed me through the crowd whispering  
for me to smile. No way Bitch I'm not doing anything you ask  
me to, but while I thought that I felt myself smile.   
" Here's our car." I slipped into the passenger seat, I felt  
exhausted. I leaned my head against the seat and soon dozed  
off.  
***********  
I woke up in a strange bed and looked around, it was dark and  
raining out. My body ached from my previous exertion. In the  
room I saw several pictures of Michiru and I together. I was  
smiling but I somehow knew that I wasn't as happy as I seemed.  
I looked down at myself, I was still wearing that suit Michiru   
had given me, I looked around to see if there was anything else  
I could wear, all I found was another dress shirt it didn't   
look as uncomfortable as what I was now wearing so I went and   
changed. When I came out I saw a balcony door leading outside.  
I knew I had to leave, I grabbed some money lying on the table  
and slipped out the door, my head was pounding. I started   
running I didn't even look back, I couldn't face Michiru, I   
had to leave. My body was sore but I had to go on. I soon found  
the driveway and followed it to the road. I had no idea where  
I was going but I just kept on running as fast as I could. I   
saw a taxi driving towards me I hailed it and got in. I sat   
inside and said an address I didn't know where it came from,   
I just hoped it would get me away from here.   
The cab stopped and I gave the driver some money. I stepped outside.   
I had no idea where I was, and I was dripping wet, my body hurt,   
and I thought I was going to pass out. I walked to the door of   
the apartment building. There was a list of names, my eyes were   
blurry but I made one out at the bottom of the list: Seiya Kou.   
A woman was entering the apartment and didn't notice my foot   
stopping the door from closing. I took the elevator to the   
top floor and found the door number it had said beside the   
name. I knocked hoping someone would open it.   
  
**********  
  
Someone was knocking on the door, it's past midnight this   
is crazy. I got up to go yell at whoever dared disturb my   
sleep. I opened it and gasped.  
" Can I come in?" Haruka stood at the door. She was wearing   
a drenched suit and water was dripping off of her. I was about  
to say something when she just blacked out in front of me. I  
managed to catch her before she fell and I pulled her toward  
the couch kicking the door closed behind me. I called for   
Taiki and Yaten and after a few minutes of grumbling they were  
beside me.  
" What are we supposed to do?" I asked them.  
" We should probably get her warmed up a bit, she looks  
like she's freezing." Taiki replied.  
" Well go ahead." I said stepping back away from her.  
" Me? I'm not touching her, you do it." Taiki said aghast.  
" I'm not doing it." Yaten squeaked from behind me. I leaned  
over the unconscious Haruka and hesitantly unbuttoned her   
soaked shirt. She groaned and her eyes flitted open. She  
looked dazed and shivered.  
" Seiya-chan? Where am I?" She murmured quietly.  
"Uh.. Haruka-San... hi." I stuttered and pulled back away   
from her, I felt my face go red, " You're at my house,   
I have no idea how you got here you just showed up."  
" I didn't want to stay with Michiru." She murmured.  
" How do you know where we live?" Yaten asked glaring at  
Haruka who just shrugged.  
" Here are some dry clothes." Taiki said while thwaping   
Yaten upside the head. Taiki handed Haruka a pair of my  
sweatpants and one of my T-shirts. Why my clothes,   
Taiki's will fit her just fine, besides mine will be too small.  
" Can I use your bathroom?" Haruka asked quietly. She got  
up slowly wincing, I helped her to the bathroom.  
  
" What the hell are we supposed to do? She just shows up here,  
she's supposed to be with Michiru-san." Yaten rambled looking  
back and forth between Taiki and I.  
" Well we know she's gone psycho what are we supposed to do  
just leave her out on the street?" Taiki asked the frazzled  
platinum-haired girl.  
" She'd do the same for us."  
" NO, she wouldn't, why did she come to us anyway? she hates us,  
well Seiya mostly, but why didn't she go to Usagi-chan or something?"  
Yaten argued.  
" She's not full in the head Yaten."  
"She's never been 'full in the head', and why the hell are   
you so quiet." Yaten looked at me , I just sat on a chair  
listening to them.  
" I'm, just thinking, leave me alone." I replied, " Shouldn't   
we call Michiru-san or something? She's probably worried."  
" Since when have you been so.. sensible." Yaten looked  
at me like I was crazy," Well anyway you call her." Yaten looked  
through the phonebook and found what she was looking for," Here  
Call." I hesitantly reached for the phone and called the number  
Yaten dictated.  
" Hello uh.. Michiru-san.. It's Seiya." I was a little nervous  
about how she would react after I told her that her lover  
was with me.   
" Seiya-kun what a surprise, I didn't expect you to call,  
I'm a little busy." Michiru seemed pleasant, but a little  
anxious, I could hear someone's voice faintly in the back   
before Michiru told them to be quiet.  
" Umm I just wanted to tell you that Haruka showed up at my  
apartment about half an hour ago. I just wanted to call  
you and tell you that she's fine."   
" Seiya-kun, you have to be mistaken, Haruka's upstairs   
asleep. How would she get to your house anyway?" How could  
she not know I thought Michiru would at least go check on  
her. They live quite far away she must've been gone for like  
two hours. " We'll take care of her tonight and then call you  
in the morning ok."   
" Yeah Ok bye." She seemed really detached. and then hung up.  
" I'm done." Haruka said from the bathroom door, leaning  
slightly against the frame; I looked at her in my clothes,  
she made them look so... good. She smiled slightly.  
" Uh here, sit down." Taiki said shuffling off the armchair,  
she slowly sat down. I felt extremely awkward with her here.  
" Um are you hungry?" I asked slowly not knowing what to say.  
She nodded. " What do you want." She shrugged.  
I went to the kitchen to get her something, it was really   
quiet in the living room. When I came back Haruka was asleep  
in the chair.  
" She's asleep." Yaten said.  
" Yeah I've noticed where should we put her?"  
" She's not staying with me." Yaten replied adamantly. I   
looked to Taiki.  
" You're the one who let her in" Taiki said walking toward  
her bedroom door.  
" The couch?" I asked hopefully.  
" It's soaked she'll get pneumonia, we're supposed to take  
care of her not get her even more sick." They both look at me.  
" What!" I ask flabbergasted  
" Maybe when she wakes up beside you it'll knock some sense   
into her and she'll be relatively normal again." Yaten said  
snickering.  
" Yeah and then she'll take out her nice sharp sword and   
kill me, is that what you want?" I said defensively.  
"I'm ok with that." Yaten joked, well I hope.  
" Yaten!." Taiki chastised the girl.  
" Fine then my death is on your head."   
" I'm ok with that too." Yaten disappeared into her room"   
This'll be interesting."  
" Well I'm going to sleep, have fun." Taiki walked away   
giggling. I slowly picked Haruka up and carried her to my   
bedroom. I kicked the door open and deposited Haruka onto  
my bed on one side, I then climbed onto the other side as  
far away from her as possible; I was almost falling off   
my bed. I closed my eyes and slowly I fell asleep.  
I wake up to a clicking noise and I open my eyes.  
I see Yaten standing there with her stupid camera. Taiki  
is giggling from behind. I feel a weight around me. I turn  
my head and almost scream. Haruka was snuggled up to me,   
half laying on top of me. I felt like an over grown teddy  
bear. I tried to move but to no avail. She was holding me  
absolutely still in her 'embrace.'  
" Haruka-san?" I said nudging her slightly with my shoulder,  
she murmured and then gripped me even tighter. " Uh guys   
can you get her off?"   
" Nope this is most definitely a Kodak moment and I haven't  
taken quite enough pictures." Yaten smirked.  
  
**********************************************************  
Ok please don't hit me, that was the result of too many mush  
fics, I needed to get that off my back. @_@   
As always disclaimers apply. Buhbyees  
*.*  
Gumby and Friends  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Paramour 2

When Taiki and Yaten finally let me out  
of Haruka-kun's death grip I went to call  
Michiru-san about the state of her lover.  
"Hello?" Michiru's voice echoed through  
the receiver.  
"Michiru-san, It's Seiya, I was wondering  
what we should do with Haruka-san."  
"I"m not sure, if she comes back here she  
will most likely run awayagain when I'm not looking.  
Also in a few days I'm leaving for a tour abroad,   
I can't get out of it, you understand that I have   
no choice right? I'm worried that if I take her then  
she'll get lost in a foreign country."  
" Haruka feel safe around you Seiya-kun, I   
know it's strange, but would you take care of her,  
jsut for a couple days, until I find someplace else  
to put her while I'm on tour." I couls just imagine  
Michiru puting and batting her eyes as she said that.  
" Please Seiya-kun" She pleaded in a soft voice.  
" Alright... just for a few days." hat was I   
saying, I didn't want to do this all I wanted was to say  
'no,' but I couldn't... me and my 'chivalry' ugh.  
" Thank you Seiya-kun"  
" Yeah, sure." I heard Michiru-san hang up.  
" So what are we going to do with her?" Taiki  
asked me, I hadn't even heard her come up behind me.  
" I told Michiru-san that she could stay here  
for a couple days." Taiki looked at me slightly shocked.  
" You're the one taking care of her." Taiki said   
rolling her eyes.  
" I'm not a dog I can take care of myself!"   
Haruka had walked into the room, her eyebrow twitched,  
and then she relaxed " So I'm staying with you a couple   
days Seiya-chan?" She smiled and winked at me. " You make  
a very good pillow." I sweatdropped,  
what have I gotten myself into. " So, when's breakfast?"   
  
********** 15 Minutes Later **********  
  
I stared solemnly at the 'breakfast' Seiya-kun sat  
in front of me. I poked at it with my chopsticks. Seiya had  
made a western breakfast of Sausage, Bacon, Eggs and Toast.   
" What!" Seiya said looking at me play with my food.  
" You want me to eat.. this?" I asked picking up a   
piece of limp sausage.   
" This is actually one of the few food Seiya makes   
that doesn't poison us." Yaten said munching on his toast.  
I raised an eyebrow.  
" What's wrong with it?" Seiya said rolling her eyes.  
" It's.. shiny..."  
" Shiny??? You have a problem with my cooking because  
it's 'shiny?'" Seiya said glaring at me.  
" And this.." I said holding up a piece of bacon,   
" Is bubbling at me, my toast is caving in on itself and my  
eggs aren't even cooked, and they're shiny!"  
" How are my eggs 'shiny?'" Seiya said exasperated,  
I shrugged.  
" Well they are pretty greasy, but it's still yummy."   
Taiki said giggling.  
" Yeah, Exactly!!!" I said agreeing with Taiki, from the  
way Seiya-un was looking at me I knew I should shut up, but I   
didn't. Seiya-kun stood up walking behind me, I cowered in my chair.  
He picked up my plate and shoveled the food into my hair.  
" Seiya-kun!!!" I glared at the brunette, and picked up   
Taiki's half-finished breakfast and chucked it at Seiya, soon   
and all out food fight was going on. Before anyone else claimed  
it I grabbed a handful of Seiya's clothes from his bedroom and  
ran for the shower. I could hear the three still giggling outside.  
I rolled my eyes.   
  
  
  



	3. Paramour 3

I stood in front of the mirror staring at my reflection. I was about   
to crack, Haruka-san had been 'living' with us for a week. Man she is   
strange. Not evenYaten is half as picky as she is, the only thing she   
will eat is salad.. and healthy food. I made burgers a few days ago   
and she wouldn't eat them. Also she won't stop.... flirting.. I flirt   
with people.. I instigate the flirting I make them blush and feel all   
awkward, not the other way around. I hope she gets her memory back   
soon, she's not acting right. Tenou Haruka-san is supposed to be   
mean, grumpy, cold as ice, always serious. Now she's the exact   
opposite.. she's like a child that hasn't been burned by the world.   
She's is so happy it scares me. She's also incredibly smart and   
logical. It's as if she has selective amnesia. When talking to Taiki   
she brings up little details of books and movies easily, details even   
*Taiki* may have overlooked. We are going away on tour soon and to   
tell the truth I kind of want her to stay with us. She isn't as bad   
as I thought she would be. She still is as competitive and proud as   
hell but it seems to no longer bother me. I wish I could lose my   
memory and block out all the bad things of my life. All the trouble   
with Galaxia, my home in complete ruins. My princess gone. At home   
they say the starlights are saviours.. I feel like  
a traitor. I left my planet in a time of crisis. No one on Kinmokusei   
understands me. It is all politics. Even Kakyuu-hime doesn't   
understand me as well as she should. Haruka-san doesn't have to deal   
with all of the shit that happens in life.. she seems so innocent, so   
pure, and I am so   
dirty. I closed my eyes resting my forehead against the cool surface   
of the mirror. I felt tears burning in my eyes but I knew I wouldn't   
cry, I'm the strong warrior, Sailor Star Fighter. Inside I feel so   
weak, so alone, so out of reach to the rest of the world. They all   
think I'm confidant, they all think I'm pure ego, acting just to   
please myself. In truth I act to please them, to make myself seem   
better, in truth I'm a despicable person. I want someone to make me   
better, I want someone who can wipe my past from my mind, I want   
someone who can be strong for me. I want anyone who wants me, the   
real me, the me no one sees, the me on the inside, the me that is   
weak and pitiful. They don't want me; they want an idol. I stared   
into my eyes, seeing the tears run down   
my cheeks. They want a boy. They don't want me, no one wants me. I am   
a girl, I'm weak. I washed my face with cold water, wiping the traces   
of my inner self.   
  
*******  
  
The coldness won't stop. The fear won't stop. I can't think. I can't   
feel. I remember hurt. I remember pain. I remember sorrow. I remember   
being tainted, remember being dirty. I sat staring out through the   
window, sitting on a window ledge. I feel echoes from the past that I   
can't make out. I remember the feelings but I don't remember the   
actions. Why won't the cold leave my body, why won't the fear end,   
why do I feel I'm drowning. The pain in my body won't leave. I had   
the craving to run. I ran. I hurt. My body won't do what I ask. I'm   
weak. The realisation dawned on me. I'm weak. I pretend to be strong,   
even to myself but I'm not. I'm weak. I was betrayed because I am   
weak. It's was my fault. I'm weak. I took the easy way out. I'm weak.   
I can't do this anymore. I want it to be over. No one understands.   
The psychic pain I feel, the physical pain, the emotional emptiness.   
I try to forget, I try to act normal. I try to be what they want me   
to be. I can't. I'm weak. Everyone hates me.I don't want them to hate   
me. Seiya-chan is the only one I trust. She doesn't want me to   
change. She doesn't try to make me remember what I was. What I was   
ended. I was a coward. I tried to end it. Now I want to end it again.   
I'm still weak. Everyone still hates me. I felt the panic rise within   
me. No one wants me, No one loves me. They would be happy if I was   
gone. I want to run away, forever. They don't want to take care of   
me, I don't want them to have to take care of me. I, Tenou Haruka   
should be able to take of myself. Why can't I? I can hear Seiya   
turning the knob. I will the pain to subside within my tormented   
mind. I can see the knife on the desk. I should make their lives   
easier and be gone. I can't. I'm weak.  
  
******  
  
I got out of the bathroom, there was no evidence of my tears. I saw Haruka-san on the window sill, She turned to me, a gentle smile on her face, I smiled back, she seems so happy. I wish I was so happy. 


	4. Paramour 4

Oh yay.. author's notes. These are harder to write than the fic 0_o   
All disclaimers apply, don't hurt me for writing this, e-mail me if   
ya really really want to and yeah.. enjoy the   
show...story...fic..whatever.  
  
******  
"Haruka-san, can I talk to you?" I had been putting this off for a   
few days and tomorrow we were leaving, I really didn't want to do   
this. She came into the room, she smiled a bit and sat down in front   
of me." Well Taiki, Yaten and I are going on a tour and we can't..   
bring you." I saw the expression on her face change and she looked   
extremely crestfallen.  
" Maybe I can tag along without anyone knowing." I shook my head.  
" No Haruka-san." I could see the pleading look in her eyes.  
" Please, I.. I want to stay with you." She looked at me hopefully. "   
Why not?" I knew she was going to try to come. I could see it in her   
eyes, she didn't want to stay in Tokyo.  
" I don't want you to come." I said quietly, I knew she heard me as   
she pulled away slowly. Tears glistened in her eyes.  
" Why?" Her voice was thick with emotion.  
" You aren't acting like yourself now, you will soon, I don't want to   
be there when you get your memory back." I looked at her, she looked   
like a caged animal trying to flee but being unable. Why am I doing   
this to her. I don't want to hurt her. Do you want her to hurt you,   
the voice in my head asked maliciously. I have to do this, to protect   
myself, I'm not going to be on Earth forever anyway. In my mind the   
final battle with Galaxia replayed itself, more precisely her role in   
the battle. She betrayed her princess, Usagi forgave her but .. she   
went against her princess, she doesn't even know how much Usagi hurt   
because of her. I felt anger boil inside me. I can't let that happen,   
not to myself. I looked at her again. She's in pain. She deserves it,   
the voice in my head tried to convince me, suppressing my conscience.   
" I don't want to be your friend." I saw her shoulders sag slightly   
and she looked down at the floor. She suddenly stood up and grabbed   
the bag we brought her from Michiru's house. She walked quickly to   
the door and put her shoes on. She turned to us.   
" Thank you for letting me stay with you. I'm sorry I was such a   
nuisance." I looked into her eyes, they were as cold as I remembered   
them, she turned.   
" Haruka-san, we'll call Michiru to find somewhere you can go." I   
offered going to her.  
" I can take care of myself." She turned and left. I hit my head   
against the wall and slid down in curling myself into a ball. What   
have I done. I pulled my legs in tighter. I saw her smiling face then   
the intense pain, the pain that I caused. I'm a despicable creature.   
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Yaten and Taiki crouching   
beside me. Taiki was .. petting me, I knew she was trying to make me   
feel better, she can't, I'm a despicable person. Yaten was a few   
steps away.  
" What did you say to her?" Her voice sounded a bit shaky and I   
looked up at her, she looked slightly emotional, the way she looks   
after she feel something very strong. "You just had to tell her that   
we can't take her on tour, you didn't have to be cruel Seiya." I saw   
Taiki glare at her. I'm an evil person, why did I do that.   
" I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't think she'd react that way."   
Yaten came towards me and sat down beside me, she pulled me into a   
loose hug. We stayed that way for a bit. I'm glad that I have them as   
my best friends, I couldn't survive without them.   
  
*******  
I walked out of Seiya's apartment. Where am I supposed to go now. A   
cold wind blew, chilling my already freezing body. I tried not to   
think of what just happened. I felt tears burn in my eyes but I   
fought them back. Why was she... stop thinking about it Haruka. I   
broke out into a run, my hitting my legs as I ran. I didn't care   
where I was going, I just wanted to get away.   
After a while I stopped, the pain in my chest was unbearable, and   
looked around, there were small houses around me, I turned in a   
circle realizing that I was lost. I picked a direction and started   
walking, my breath came in ragged gasps. It's not like I was going   
anywhere in particular anyway. I stopped at a bus depot, there was a   
map of Tokyo's bus route. I looked at it, trying to find anything   
familiar that might tell me where I should go, not finding anything I   
went across the street to a park and sat down on a bench. I reached   
into my bag, maybe there is something in here. I searched through it   
finding three sets of keys and two addresses. I picked on and then   
went to find a map from somewhere. The sun was already setting and I   
pulled the sweatshirt closer to my cold body, it was going to be a   
long night.   
After an hour I found a tourist booth and bought a city map, I   
realized I was half way across the city from where I should be. I set   
of, not having anywhere else to go. I passed by a beach on my way, I   
felt the tears burn in my eyes, I tried not to remember the pain in   
my chest. ' I don't want to be your friend.' The words echoed in my   
head. Pain resonated in my heart. Don't think about it Haruka. It was   
too late. I sat down on a log, tears spilling from my eyes, why does   
everyone hate me. I can see a cliff above the ocean, jagged rocks   
underneath. Why don't I just jump. I can't. I'm a coward. No wonder   
everyone hates me.  
**********************  
Yay I got 4 out. I thought it would be different but.. I think I   
liked how it turned out.I know they are all quite a bit ooc but...   
it's my fic.. if ya don't like don't read. Send me flames if you   
want.. trust me I've gotten plenty.. they all make me laugh quite   
hard.. especially the people who have worse grammar than I do. Oh and   
the people who spell Haruka and Michiru wrong are also just great.   
Relax people it's a fanfic. Oh a little quirk of my writing that I   
feel I should share... I really like changing from past to present   
tense when I'm writing a first person story, you've probably noticed,   
I don't know why I do this but when I go back and try to fix it I   
confuse myself. i've got the storyline for this finished I jsut..need   
to write it. If you want spoilers they are in my LJ on my page. Well   
that's all I can think of right now. Oh I also want to kiss all the   
people at Hamena for making a word wrapping utility thingy.. people   
would pay money for that..... seriously.   
Ps. Don't you want to hit Seiya? 


	5. Paramour 5

Paramour Part 5  
**********  
I'm starting to settle into my apartment. It seems so strange and   
empty. I keep opening a door and expecting one of the three lights to   
be there. I saw them on TV a few days ago, they're really great   
although a bit cheesy, there is so much passion in their songs, so   
much hope, I wish I had hope. I have nothing. I'm living by myself,   
it's not even living it's just surviving. I feel the need to survive   
past this but it's so hard. I can't seem to do anything right. I've   
managed to keep myself fed but that's all. I feel constantly   
confused. I should be smart I know it, but I'm broken. Seiya made it   
so much better, she made life seem bearable with her smart-ass   
remarks. She's on tour now though I can't even talk to her, she   
doesn't want to be my friend. No one does. I'm sitting on the window   
ledge staring at my hands. I'm so dirty, my memory has been wiped   
clean and yet I feel tainted. I stare out the window with unseeing   
eyes, why can't I try to be your friend?  
  
*******  
"Chikuso" I felt a rock bite into my shoulder as I fell.   
"Fighter!" I heard Healer and Maker shout from behind me. A   
..thing... was attacking us, it was incredible strong, each time we   
attacked a chunk of it blew off and replicated the monster. We were   
up against four of these things already. I pull myself up from the   
ground and prepare to attack, maybe it has a limit as to how much it   
can be blown apart. "Star.. Serious...Laser." It didn't work.. now   
the monster count was up to five. What the hell were we going to do.   
One of the youma's grabs my arms and holds me in place. What the hell   
am I supposed to do?   
  
*******  
I feel like there is something crawling under my skin, burning to get   
out. I stumble over to the bathroom.. maybe I'm sick or have a fever.   
I almost fall over as a ..need.. washes over me. An overwhelming want   
to be elsewhere.. Colors start flashing before my eyes,  
and I feel my mind slip into darkness.  
  
*******  
The point of a sword is inches away from my bare skin. I try pull   
away but to no avail, the creature holding me won't let up. The sword   
comes closer and I close my eyes bracing my body for the pain. I hear   
two words ring out in the chaos.  
" World ..Shaking!" The blast of energy envelops the creature and it   
fades from existence. I look at my savior, what the hell is she doing   
here? Our eyes meet and she continues fighting the creatures, killing   
each one swiftly. She looks slightly different. Her hair seems   
whiter, her eyes a more intense teal. Soon the demons are all gone,   
she defeated them by herself when all three of us couldn't.   
She turns to go back to wherever she came from  
" Haruka-san?"  
" I'm not Haruka." She turns back to me  
" Nani?"   
" Do you really think she could fight in the state she's in?" She   
jumps onto a nearby building.  
"Yamete! What's wrong with her." I yell after her.  
" I thought you didn't care." She whispers, her voice carrying on the   
wind.  
" If you aren't Haruka who are you?" Taiki jumps to her other side so   
she is in between us.  
" I'm Sailor Uranus."  
" Ten'ou Haruka is Sailor Uranus we know that for a fact." Taiki   
stated, taking a fighting stance.  
" I didn't come here to fight you, I don't need to give you an   
explanation but since you seem to want it so desperately let's go   
somewhere we can talk." She seemed somewhat perturbed. I led us back   
to the hotel room and we slipped in unnoticed.   
We de-transformed but she didn't she stayed in senshi form.  
" I'm.. different from most other senshi. When I was reborn I didn't   
take over Haruka's mind, I was just always in the background while   
she lived her life, when it came time for my awakening I didn't merge   
with her consciousness , We are almost one person but we are still   
two minds sharing one body. Right now she doesn't know about me. I'm   
letting her figure out her life before I give her memories and my   
memories to her."  
" You made her have amnesia?" I was infuriated, how could she control   
Haruka's life like that.  
" It's for the better Seiya-san, you don't know what happened."  
" Then tell me!"  
" I thought you didn't care."  
" I lied."  
" I can't tell you she'll have to do that herself, Fighter, take care   
of her she needs someone right now.. she wants you to take care of   
her Seiya... Onegai.."  
" Where is she?"  
" I am her.. she's .... asleep, Do you promise Fighter-hie?"  
".. hai..."  
" Arigato." She closed her eyes and fell backwards on to the bed, her   
uniform dissolved into pajamas and color coming back to pale cheeks,   
a tinge of blonde going into her silver locks, a few seconds later   
the only sign of Uranus was the massive amounts of cherry blossom   
petals left in the hotel room.  
  
**************  
I know I know.. it's short... gomen... I couldn't think of   
anything... this part was supposed to go a lot differently.. oh   
well.. I guess I'm satisfied with it although my wording is extremely   
clumsy. Ja Ne  
Caspy-chan 


End file.
